Why Men Are (Justifiably) Proud of Themselves
  • We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
  • A 5-day trip requires only one suitcase
  • We can open all our own jars
  • Same work-more pay
  • If another guy shows up at a party in the same outfit you might become lifelong friends
  • We can leave a motel bed unmade
  • The same hairstyle lasts for years-maybe decades
  • Wedding plans take care of themselves
  • If someone forgets to invite us to something they can still be our friend
  • Underwear is $10 a three-pack
  • If you are 34 and single nobody notices
  • We don't have to clean the house if the meter reader is coming
  • Three pair of shoes are more than enough
  • We can do our nails with a pocketknife
  • Car mechanics tell us the truth
  • We can go to the bathroom without a support group
  • One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons
  • Gray hair and wrinkles only add character
  • Everything on our faces stays the original color
  • We almost never have a "strap problem" in public
  • Your pals will never trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
  • We are not expected to know the names of more than 5 colors
  • We can kill our own food
  • We are totally unable to see wrinkles in our clothes
  • Our belly usually hides our big hips
  • We don't have to shave below the neck
  • We can sit quietly and watch a game with a friend for hours without thinking "He must be mad at me."
  • Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 people on the day before Christmas and in 45 minutes. 
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